“Jealousy…I love you more than you love me.”
Your partner travels a lot, whether for work or another reason, and it’s not always great when you’re left at home. It can be hard on your relationship and your children if you have any.
They might be gone for two weeks, a month, or even three months a year. This makes life more stressful, and the nagging doubts take their toll.
You probably can’t make them stop traveling, but there are ways to cope with the doubts, even if they’re visiting new and exciting locations and you’re stuck at home.
Discuss their trip, develop rituals, and stay in touch
Where are they going and why? How long will they be gone? What will they be doing? What expectations do they have of you while they’re away? Having all the information will help you stay on board during their trips.
Develop rituals, like seeing them off before they leave or sneaking a romantic note into their luggage. They might bring home presents or keepsakes for you and the children. Developing rituals together can help ease doubts that are creeping in.
Go with them sometimes. In 2024, it’s estimated that one or two longer vacations a year help keep the spark alive.
Talk to them every day, even if it’s only for a few minutes. You need time to discuss what’s happening in the relationship. If your partner is traveling for work, you could be giving them a chance to share business concerns.
It’s easy to feel like your traveling partner is seeing and doing exciting things during their trips with someone else. You might even dream of your partner cheating. Instead of focusing on that, realize that they are probably just working and sick of eating out and of jet lag.
Making sense of the signs
Long periods of time in which you cannot get in touch with them will add to your concerns. If you get mad at them about it, their reaction might not be what you expect. When you argue or fight, they might start talking about the relationship ending. Pronounced negativity about the relationship is not a good sign, but you might not be the reason, and neither is the potentially imaginary affair. An extended work trip can be exhausting.
Popular media will tell you to take notice if every argument ends with them questioning the relationship’s quality or future. They warn that it could be a sign your partner has a lover to fall back on. Being distant and moody is another sign often cited as a red flag. When they come home, they seem depressed and somber, but when they leave, they are back to their upbeat selves. They start paying less attention to you, the children, or the household. Again, don’t automatically attribute it to their affair.
Who cheats more often?
A survey in 2023 revealed men were more likely to cheat than women. 20% of married men admitted to infidelity, compared to 13% of married women. 6% of spouses admitted to cheating at some point in their marriage.
30% of people cheated on their spouse with a coworker, and affairs have destroyed 57% of marriages.
Having doubts when they’re away is understandable, especially if they’ve cheated before. About half of all cheaters are serial cheaters. But if they haven’t and there is no proof they are cheating, your jealousy may be the issue. You’re not alone: according to a news release, 87% of Americans occasionally experience jealousy in relationships. 55% of respondents said their partner liking photos of attractive acquaintances made them jealous, and almost a third even got jealous when a partner liked pictures of beautiful celebrities!
Three out of five people experience jealousy of a partner’s attractive friend, and 25% even ask a significant other to stop hanging out with someone because they are jealous.
Recap
- Talk to them about their trip in advance
- Develop rituals, like seeing them off before they leave
- Go with them sometimes
- Talk to them every day
- Don’t jump to conclusions